The Secret Is Wags

I’m in the process of carving myself a new body.  Others call this losing weight.  However, I’ve lost weight in the past.  I always found it again.  So enough with the losing.  Now I’m carving.

I’ve carved away 18 pounds so far.  I have a long way to go, but I’ve created a journey that’s comfortable for me (no pushing myself to do more exercise than feels right now, no extreme eating plan), so I know I can stay on this road.

Part of the carving process required me to make peace with my current size.  (more…)

Share on Facebook

Last week, I wrote about what to do if what you want isn’t here yet.  Today, I want you to think about this question:  What if it IS here and you just can’t see it?

We bought a new mattress a year and a half ago.  It was a memory foam mattress we put on top of a sealed wood platform that Tim build.

Here But Hidden

We loved the mattress at first.  Then it began to sag.  It broke down within a few months.  We called Costco and they said they’d come and get it (you gotta love Costco), and we ordered a different mattress to replace the one that didn’t hold up.

The day the pick-up company was supposed to show up, we took the mattress off the platform to move it to the garage.  I was shocked to discover that under my side of the mattress, a huge wet spot was mildewing on the mattress and on the platform.  Tim’s side was fine.

The reason for the spot isn’t really important—but if you’re curious, I was having major night sweats during those months, and memory foam mattresses generate more body heat.  We think I basically sweated through the mattress.

For all that time, I’d been sleeping on a big, mildewed water stain.  It was less than 10 inches from me, and I couldn’t see it.  It was right there, but if you’d have asked me if I slept on a mildewed wet spot, I would have confidently told you I did not.

You Can’t See The Energy

All physical manifestations—experiences and things—exist in energy form before they take physical form.  We can’t see that energy.

Just like we can’t see the radio waves that bring us our FM stations or the waves that bring us TV and cell phone service, the energy that creates our world is there but not visible.  It’s no less real just because we can’t see it.  Radio waves are real all the way from the station to our stereos even though they don’t seem to be real to us until the music hits our ears.

Every single thing you want begins to form on an energetic plane the moment you conceive of it.  All you have to do is allow it.

It might be just inches from you, so close you could touch it if you knew it was there.  But then you start asking why what you want isn’t here.  You feel like the character, Anya, from the Buffy the Vampire TV series when she says, “I’m trying to be patient, but it’s taking too long.”

The second you ask that question … BOOM.  Your creation, which could be seconds from taking physical form, retreats back into energy.  Here but hidden.

That big wet spot has been a big deal in my life.  Every time I’m tempted to say, “Where is my …….?” I remember that spot.  I remember that what I want is RIGHT HERE.  I already have it.  I’m sleeping on it.  I’m living with it.  It’s here.

For those of you who care—I don’t have a wet spot under my mattress anymore (I checked).  The new mattress (different brand) has been great, and I’ve discovered a cool herbal supplement that has left me night-sweat-free.  And that was a creation that was in my reality on the nonphysical level far before it landed in my physical experience.

Share on Facebook

On Mother’s Day, Tim told me to pick whatever I wanted for dinner and he’d fix it.  I decided I was in the mood for an indoor picnic.  I wanted a sandwich, coleslaw, and sour cream and onion flavored Tim’s Cascade potato chips.  (No one would accuse me of being unspecific about my desires.) I haven’t had potato chips in a long time—we don’t spend money on junk food, but that’s what I wanted.

Tim went to the store.  He came home with Lay’s Baked potato chips.  I looked at them and curled my lip.  “What are these?”

“It’s all they had.”

“They didn’t have Tim’s?”

“Not in sour cream and onion flavor.  Just in jalapeno and plain.”

“No other chips?”

“Regular Lays, and I know you think those are too thin.”

“Nothing else?”

“You don’t like the baked?”

“It’s diet food.”  I probably whined a little when I said that.  I wanted real potato chips, thick and crunchy, greasy and salty.  “I’d rather have regular Lay’s than these baked ones,” I told Tim.

He said he’d take them back.  (The one grocery store in our town is three minutes from our house.)

“I’ll go with you,” I said. “I’ll pick out my own chips.”

“No! I’ll take care of it.”

“But I want to go.”

“No.  Let me do this for you.”

“But I want to go.”

I’ll spare you the next few minutes of our ridiculous conversation.  Tim was determined to “fix” his “mistake.”  I was just as determined to go to the store to pick out my own chips.

And if you’re wondering what all this chips nonsense has to do with the law of attraction, just give me a couple more minutes.  I’ll get to my point. (more…)

Share on Facebook

Two days ago, Tim’s boss for his new U.S. Census bureau job, quit.  The boss’s boss chose Tim to take over the position.  And just like that, instead of being the enumerator Tim thought he’d be when he took his new job, Tim’s now an administrator supervising 18 people.

He’s perfectly happy with the change in situation.  It has several benefits:  a $2 an hour raise, almost guaranteed time and a half overtime every week, and more work that he can do at home instead of having to drive all over creation.  It also has some new challenges, not the least of which are 18 strong, unique personalities.

Of the 18 people Tim now supervises, only a couple of them are the type of person Tim would choose to have working for him if he got to choose.  But he didn’t get to choose.  He has to take these people as they are.  With only slight adjustments of alignment occasionally needed, Tim’s going with the flow of his “interesting” people.

This is something most of us don’t do all that well. (more…)

Share on Facebook

Thirty-two years ago, Tim and I fell for each other during a Christmas break party at a friends’ house.  We were both eighteen.  We had a hot, romantic, two-week relationship that we intended to continue, but Tim’s experiences in Army Basic Training took him in another direction.

He doesn’t remember any of that.

Nine years ago, I found Tim.  He was in North Carolina.  We had a hot, romantic one-month internet and telephone connection that culminated in his arrival at my home and finally continued that relationship we started 23 years before.

He doesn’t remember that either.

Eight years ago today, Tim and I got married in a moving Celtic ceremony, in which he sang to me so beautifully that I and everyone else in attendance, cried.  We exchanged intimate vows, and the minister bound our hands with silken rope using the Celtic handfasting ritual.  It was the best day of our lives.

He doesn’t remember it.

Doctors and others we’ve encountered since Tim’s head injury are fascinated by Tim’s nearly complete memory loss.  What intrigues them the most is that in spite of remembering nothing about his past with me, knowing nothing of why he fell in love with me in the first place, Tim’s love for me is deep and unwavering.

“But you don’t remember falling for her,” people protest.  “You don’t remember marrying her.  For all you know, she’s making up your history and your marriage.  She could just be some woman who claims to be your wife.”

Some people watch too many TV movies. (more…)

Share on Facebook

I used to have two speeds:  FAST and PARK.

I didn’t know how to creep along in first gear or even move at a sedate second or third gear pace or even cruise along in a comfortable fourth gear speed.  And I SURE didn’t know how to idle in Neutral.  I was either stopped, in Park (others might call this depression), or I was going at least 70 or better in fifth gear.

Of course, I married a man who has no third, fourth, or fifth gears.  That was okay.  We balanced each other out a bit.

Then we started working together.  I was truckin’ at about 80, and Tim was putting along behind me at about 20, on a good day.

It’s all find and dandy for each of us to have our own speeds, but when we’re sharing the same vehicle with someone going a different speed, we have a little problem.  Tim and I nearly ripped our proverbial vehicle (our business) apart trying to move along together.

My part of our business has always been planning, designing, and writing.  His part is the technical stuff—setting up web pages, autoresponders, order links, etc.  I would create a wonderful schedule for our week, month, or year.  I’d write content and design web pages.  I write at a pace of about 40 pages a day, so I churned out a lot of content.  Once I did, I’d hand everything over to Tim to implement.  Without fail, my week-long schedules turned into month-long schedules.  My month-long schedules stretched into half a year, and yearly schedules?  Forget about it.

I spent every day of the years Tim and I spent building an internet business in a constant state of frustration and annoyance.   Didn’t do much for our relationship, I can tell you.

And given the current state of our finances, it’s obvious it didn’t do anything for our business either.

Ironically, breaking my ankle and leg actually helped my marriage.  Not only did it slow me down physically (I literally walk at about half my old pace), it took me away from the old business. Because we weren’t working together anymore, Tim and I enjoyed each other a whole lot more.

Now we’re working together again.  And though my physical pace is slower, my mental pace took off at its usual speed.  And Tim’s chugged along at his usual.

ARRRGGGHHHH!

That was my FIRST reaction.

Deep breath.

But I have this new commitment to finding reasons to feel good.  Being frustrated doesn’t feel good.  Being annoyed with my husband doesn’t feel good.

What do I do?

Follow Abraham-Hicks’ advice:

“So if you are setting standards and you’re feeling uncomfortable about the standards that you’ve set, tweak the standards back a little bit. Ratchet it back a notch. Give yourself a break. Give yourself the benefit of the doubt. Lighten up. Be easier. Go slower. Take it easy. Have more fun. Love yourself more. Laugh more. Appreciate more. All is well. You can’t get it wrong. You never get it done.”

Ahhhh.

That’s better.  Now, in this calmer place, let me take a look at my frustration.

Frustration Unwrapped

Why do we get frustrated?

We get frustrated because we have taken an action in order to get something.

Why do we want to get that something?

Because we think it is a stepping stone to getting us something else.

And why do we want the something else?

Because we think it will make us feel good, i.e. happy.

In my case, it works like this:

I want to finish my websites and Facebook, Twitter, and You Tube pages.  That’s the something I want.  I want the pages because I think they are a stepping stone to getting an income.  That’s the something else.  I want the income because I think it will make me happy.

If you break frustration down this way, you can see the easy fix, can’t you?

You take out all the “middlemen.”  You go right to the end result.  Get happy.

Sound familiar?

It’s what this blog is about.

I’ve been pouring words all over this concept for weeks now.  Simple concept:  find a way to feel NOW how you think you’d feel if you had what you want.

You can’t want something and get it.

The ultimate paradox.

No wonder we get frustrated.

Frustration Cure

All the action we take to get something, when it’s taken from a place of wanting something, is bound to create extraordinary tension because it is so far out of alignment with who we really are.  Who we really are has already become the happiness we want.

So by definition, the struggle to get to who we are is out of alignment with who we are.

If you were already at your destination, why would you race toward it?

My frustration, and probably yours if you experience anything like this, isn’t caused by someone else going too slow or circumstances around me not meeting my specifications.  It’s about my own misalignment.  It’s about the fact that I’m not up to speed with ME.

However fast I might run around trying to do, do, do, it’s still not fast enough to match up with the ME who has become, vibrationally, what I want.  It’s not fast enough because that ME became what I wanted the instant desire launched from my experience.  In that second, the only part of me who really matters in all this becoming, the nonphysical aspect of me (some would call it the Divine, or God) INSTANTLY became the desire.  INSTANTLY.

No matter how hard I try, my physical body can’t move that fast.

So it’s not Tim’s fault that I’m frustrated.

And in fact, here’s another irony.  Tim, at his sedate pace, is actually moving faster than I am.

He’s moving faster because he has achieved the identity of the guy who has all he needs.  So he’s lined up with who he is.  He’s up to speed with HIM. Even though it looks to me like he’d lose a race with the slugs in our backyard.

My perspective, when I’m racing to DO things, is all skewed by my wanting.

No wonder our business never got off the ground.  I was so busy trying to get to light speed in my doing, I was grinding the gears in the speed of my aligning.  I think I stripped them or maybe dropped the transmission somewhere on the road to credit card debt.

So I’m finally getting it.  I need to DOWNSHIFT my physical speed (the racing around doing things by some preset schedule that I came up with because I thought it would get me what I want).  By downshifting, I’ll actual UPSHIFT into the speed of my nonphysical being, the ME that already has what I want.

By going slower, I end up going faster.

Weird, huh?

At least now I know what to do when I feel frustrated.

I stop what I’m doing.  Literally.  I stop.  I take a breath, and I remind myself of who I really am.  I remind myself that I already have all I desire.  I AM rich and successful.  No need to hurry to get there because I’m already there.

All I need to do is do what’s in front of me, at a pace that feels good.

When my pace doesn’t match Tim’s pace or when outer circumstances don’t match up with my preferences, I simply need to shift my focus and find some reason to feel a little better.

As Abraham-Hicks says, we need to “be easy about this. Be playful about it. Don’t work so hard at it. Let your dominant intent to be to feel good, and if you don’t feel good, then let your dominant intent be to feel relief. Feel your way through it. If you think your way through it, you can get off on all kinds of tangents. If you feel your way through it, you can come quickly to your Core Energy, and when you do that only good can then flow to you.”

And that, I think, is the perfect gear, the perfect speed, which keeps us free of frustration.

I love comments and welcome yours.  To leave a comment, click on the “comments” link (it will say “No comments or “1 comment” or more) at the end of the tags in “Posted in” at the end of this post.

Share on Facebook

Last week, Popeye Ballu, one of the Springer spaniels Ducky follows on twitter, posted a link to a picture of three Springer puppies. The puppies were Popeye’s sons, and they were celebrating their first birthday.  Since the picture was adorable, I sent a message to Popeye asking if he (or rather, his person) would e-mail me the picture to use on The Joyful Springer.

Popeye’s person sent me the picture, and I e-mailed her back asking for the names of the puppies so I could put the names in the post.

I didn’t get a response.

Three days later, Tim and I were in the car, on the freeway, heading to Costco.  I told him about Popeye Balu and said that I might put the photo on the site without the puppies’ names because the picture is so cute.

Within 20 minutes of talking about Popeye’s puppies, we passed a pick-up that had a Popeye the Sailor Man figure hanging from its antenna!!!

Whoa.

I haven’t thought about Popeye, the cartoon character, in years.  But of course, he popped into my head when I mentioned Popeye, the dog’s, name.  And then there the character was hanging on an vehicle antenna.

Great law of attraction evidence.

But it’s more than that.

It got me thinking about antennas.

Which got me thinking about vibrational frequencies.

Which got me thinking about my thoughts.

And that’s when I realized that I’m a walking antenna.  We all are.  We’re human antennas.

Abraham-Hicks often uses the analogy of a satellite dish to explain how we align with what we want.  We need to line up our thoughts with what we want, i.e. point our dish at thoughts that are a vibrational match to our desires.

Since we are our thoughts (we act from them, they create our reality), we are in essence flesh and blood antennas.  This is how law of attraction brings experiences to us.  Our antenna (i.e. US) puts out our attraction frequency.

And most of us have something hanging onto us.

Just like Popeye hung from the pick-up’s antenna, each of us has some character hanging from our vibrational antenna.  We’re not aware of the character, but he or she is there.

We may have Popeye or Tweety Bird or Mickey Mouse or Darth Vader or Goofy or Superman or well, you get the idea.  The character hanging from your antenna is your default attitude, the way you typically process the world.  Your vibrational attraction point is that attitude.

Tim says his character is Garfield … because Garfield is laid back, unique, doesn’t care about what others think of him, and he loves lasagna (one of Tim’s favorite meals).  He admits that a character with a bit more positive energy could be useful.

My character, I think, has been Scooby Do for a long time.  I tend toward the goofy side.  I’m a whiz at creating fine messes.  I LOVE food.  I’m loyal and care about people.  I’m curious, eager, but I scare easily.  I think a character with more confidence would be in order.

Obviously, this is all in good fun, but if you think about it, there’s some truth here.  You have a sort of base program that runs automatically in every situation you’re in.  It’s your habitual vibration, the program you run when you’re not deliberately choosing your thoughts.

Being aware of that program’s content is a good idea.  If an angry or controlling or fearful character hangs on your antenna, it’s impacting your reality.  Thinking about what that character is and making a conscious decision to change it by reaching for better feeling thoughts can have a big impact on what comes into your life.

I’ve been shifting my thoughts, consciously trading in Scooby Do (sorry Scooby) with Hampton Monroe, the eager, fearless pup who stars in the Puppy Jones animated shorts.  If I ever develop enough drawing talent to render a respectable Ducky, I’ll hang her on my antenna too.

Who’s hanging on your antenna?  Are you going to keep him or her?  Who will you choose instead?  I’d love for you to share your characters.  Other readers may learn a thing or two from your choice.

Oh, and Ducky would love for you to check out her Twitter page.  She has a title now that she’s very proud of.  If you want a smile, follow her on Twitter to see her “wise and waggy” (her words) tweets.

I love comments and welcome yours.  To leave a comment, click on the “comments” link (it will say “No comments or “1 comment” or more) at the end of the tags in “Posted in” at the end of this post.

Share on Facebook

After I posted, How I Spell Relief, I received a message from a new writer friend. I’ve only corresponded with Gina for a couple weeks, but positive energy and enthusiasm radiate from her. Her attitude about life can be summed up in the title of a Facebook group she created, HELL Yes, Pigs Fly (the group is closed right now because she’s working on it, but it will be open again soon).

Regarding how to find a feeling good place when your work or efforts are being rejected, Gina wrote:

“What has helped me so much is to take complete responsibility for myself, to understand in an emotional way that I don’t HAVE to prove myself to anyone, to BE myself fully.

”Those rejection letters or any comments that sting are whatever YOU NEED them to be to validate whatever YOU NEED to feel or whatever feels comfortable to feel. There are all kinds of ways to validate fear that we all have, all kinds of ways to see failure if failure feels easier emotionally than success does. It’s about making a decision to change what feels comfortable if it’s something we’re ready to move away from.

“We repeat what we know. I had emotional abuse plugged into my love receptacle when I was a child. THAT was love for me. So, while I was anxious and determined to get away from that kind of love, I also struggled in a horrific way because THAT was my picture.

“Sometimes the hardest thing to do is to break free from an old picture and to paint a new one.

“Writing is such a personal expression. Sharing it is intensely personal. It’s hard to NOT feel it personally when someone doesn’t love what you’ve created.

“Take what feels constructive and helpful …. Leave the rest behind. You don’t NEED anything that doesn’t feel constructive and helpful. That’s just trash.

“Your journey is what matters most of all. A turn left instead of right changes your whole world sometimes. LIFE is full of wonder.”

And so it is, Gina.

Gina’s words prompted me to take a look at the picture I’ve been painting the last few years. When I looked, I wasn’t happy with what I saw. The picture was disjointed and dark, full of images that had nothing to do with the life I want to live and everything to do with my fears, resentments, and disappointments.

Tim, Ducky, and I spent yesterday evening with our good friends, Lyn and Kathy and their dog, Jake, on the beach by a fire, under a sky full of “God’s little lanterns.” While the dogs played, we humans sat by the fire and listened to the surf provide percussion for a chorus of frogs singing Spring harmony from east of the dunes. The dogs ran and barked and wagged, and we humans talked and laughed.

For over four hours, life was pure and simply perfect. Everything was right. I felt peaceful and secure and loved. I hope my friends and my husband felt the same. (I know the dogs did—they always feel that way.)

I’ve been flailing about for years trying to do things that would bring me the feelings I experienced last night. In the flailing, I’ve painted a mess.

I’m ready to paint a new picture, one that looks like yesterday evening. And what thrills me is that I don’t have to go back and redo the picture I’ve created over the last few years. I can just turn away from it and put my attention on my new canvas.

Abraham-Hicks says, “There is nothing for you to go back and live over, or fix, or feel regret about now. Every part of your life has unfolded just right. And so –now– knowing all that you know from where you now stand, now what do you want? The answers are now coming forth to you. Go forth in joy, and get on with it.”

And that is what I’m going to do.

You create your reality. What picture are you painting?

To leave a comment, click on the “comments” link (it will say “No comments or “1 comment” or more) at the end of the tags in “Posted in” at the end of this post.

Share on Facebook

Tim and I have made a pact. For one week, starting today, we are not going to complain about anything, not one single solitary tiny thing. Not out loud and not in our heads.

Complaints are, of course, negative energy. Complaints aren’t vibrationally aligned with anything we really want.

Abraham-Hicks says:

“You have in your vibrational escrow all those things you want, and you could pick any one thing on the planet that’s going wrong or in your life and give it your undivided attention, and you could keep all of those things that you want from happening because you’ve activated such a vibration of lack over this one thing. Isn’t that interesting? Because whatever it is that you use as your excuse to offer your vibration, sets the tone for your point of attraction.

“Haven’t you noticed that the the worse it gets, the worse it gets for awhile, until you come to your senses? And the better it gets, the better it gets, until you fall back into your old habits? In other words, haven’t you noticed that you can get on a run where you’re feeling really good and things just get better and better and better and then some old person shows up in your life or something happens and you get re-focused or you watch CNN or you go to the movie on Global Warming and you have sort of a Resistance Relapse?”

In other words, every time we turn our attention to complaining, we activate resistance that keeps us from moving toward what we desire.

But we spend a lot of time complaining … about really silly stuff, generally.

I find it funny, actually, how someone like me and others I know can talk about the law of attraction and how like attracts like and how we create our reality and then two seconds later complain about something.

It’s like my friend and I are looking at a fire. I say, “If I stick my hand in that fire, I will burn my skin, and it will hurt.” My friend nods sagely and says, “That is so true. We must keep our hands out of the fire.” Then we both put our hands in the fire.

Well, this week, my hands are staying out of the fire.

Complaints don’t serve me. If I see something I don’t like, I will use the contrast to help me determine what I do like. Then I’ll think about and talk about what I like.

If others are complaining, I am no longer going to stick to the social convention of, “Oh, yes, I know what you mean,” which is generally followed by another story of complaint.

I will listen and then find a positive aspect and mention that.

So if you are someone who plans to talk to me this week or communicate with me this week, be forewarned. I’m off the complain-chain.

This is the week for comMENDing, not comPLAINing.

Let’s applaud life instead of jeering at it.

Want to join me in a complain-free week? Leave a comment and state your intention to join us in our pact. Let’s see what we can create together by commending instead of complaining.

Share on Facebook

Calvin Coolidge said, “If you see ten troubles coming down the road, you can be sure that nine will run into the ditch before they reach you.”

For the last several months, I’ve been staring down the road at a whole passel of financial troubles. These troubles are HUGE and UGLY and TERRIFYING and they have nasty names like Run Out Of Money and Lose My House and Get A Job I Hate.

These troubles put off a stink that makes me feel nauseated. They suck oxygen from the air so it’s hard for me to breathe. They make such a racket, a cacophony of blackboard scratching type sounds in my head, that I find it hard to focus on anything else.

But these troubles are DOWN THE ROAD. They’re not here, not right in front of me.

But I’ve been calling them to me. I’ve been whistling at them with my thoughts. Every time I focus on them, I’m tossing a rope down the road, lassoing those nasty troubles and yanking them toward me.

Why would I want to do that?

I don’t. So I’m stopping.

In the last couple days of finding things that are good in my now, I’ve noticed that where I’m standing on the road TODAY is pretty nice. This spot in the road has lovely trees that sway in the breeze. It’s touched by gentle sunshine and sprinkled with fresh rain. It’s a spot where my dog, Ducky, can play with her toys, and my husband can tell me he loves me. It’s a place where I can have a glass of red wine by the fire, a place where I can laugh, and I place where I can be intrigued and inspired.

I’ve noticed that when I look at where I am today, I don’t notice the troubles. No nasty smell. No oxygen depletion. No sound in my head.

It’s peaceful here in the now of today.

THIS is where I am. All is well.

Share on Facebook