The Secret Is Wags

“You’re so full of yourself.”

If someone said that to you, how would you feel?

Probably not so good.  The phrase has a negative connotation.  It generally means to be overly confident, overly pleased with yourself.

Look at the picture of Ducky.  She’s pretty full of herself, don’t you think?

The other day, I was watching her prance along the beach.  She was clearly feeling like she was all that and more.

I said to her, “You’re rather full of yourself, aren’t you?” She wagged her tail harder and went on her merry way.

And that’s when it hit me.  (more…)

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Ducky and I were about halfway through our morning beach walk when a water-sculpted board caught my eye.  About the size of a chair seat, it had an undulating pattern that mimicked the surf.

My first thought was, “I could do something cool with that.”

I bent over to pick it up,

Ducky, carrying her usual driftwood “baton,” raced toward me.

Anything I pick up is cause for Ducky’s eager curiosity and much barking and leaping because it could possibly be a potential object for fetching.  Not willing to face the full onslaught of her enthusiasm, I hesitated. (more…)

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I set up this blog with about as much technical know how as I have knowledge of the Russian language (hint: “nyet” is about the only Russian word I know).  Once I had the web address, I scrolled through all the WordPress themes and chose this one because it’s crisp, clean, and simple, and it lets me put a picture of happy Ducky in the header.  The blog is, after all, about wags.

As soon as I set up the blog, I had a problem.  On some browsers and computers, the header bled into the photo frame.

Trial and error finagling finally resulted in a change in the overall size of the blog, which reduced the header size enough to remove the problem.  Then I had a new issue.  The blog posts’ font size was a little smaller than I wanted.

By then, though, I had totally surpassed what I was able to do with the theme style sheet.  I called it good and let it go.

Still, my inner voice nudged at me and said the font might be a bit too small for comfortable readability.  I ignored the voice.  I had too many other things I needed to do.

A few days ago, I got an e-mail from a reader.  She kindly told me she enjoyed the blog, and then she asked me if anyone had told me the blog posts are difficult to read.  She suggested I change the font.

Well, there it was.  The problem I’d attempted to ignore was back, and this time, it was more important because now a reader had spoken up about it.

I poked at the problem for a couple days with no positive results.  I communicated to the reader yesterday, via Facebook, that I was working on it.  I said maybe I can align my way to a solution.

And that’s what I did.

Friday, I got home from my beach walk with Ducky.  Tim bounced out of the office and said, “Give me scritches.”  That’s our way of saying “praise” because we give Ducky “scritches” (pats and rubs) when we’re praising her.  In Tim’s case, “scritches” are actually kisses.

So I give Tim kisses, and he tells me that he figured out how to fix the font size on the blog.  Yay!

And by now, you’re wondering why I’m telling you this story.  What does it have to do with you?

I’m telling you because it’s a perfect example of the power of 3-Up.

Listen Up

My inner wisdom told me the font was too small.  I ignored what I heard.  If I’d listened, I could have aligned my way to the right font size from the beginning.

Speak Up

So I didn’t listen, but my reader spoke up.  She experienced contrast (the font size was smaller than she wanted).  She immediately realized what she wanted (larger font size), and then she took inspired action (she contacted me).

Notice that she didn’t complain to me.  Instead, she told me what she wanted.

Lighten Up

My reader’s gentle approach made it easy for me to hear her, and it motivated me to get her what she wanted.  If she’d taken a heavy-handed approach, I’m sure I still would have tried to accommodate her, but not from a place of positive vibration.

Because I was in a place of positive vibration about the font issue (my thought was, “I’m glad this person enjoys the blog enough to take the time to tell me she’d prefer a larger font size”), I was able to quickly align myself with a solution.  And I did this without struggle.

In fact, all I did was poke at the style sheet a bit, and when my efforts didn’t reveal a solution, I asked Tim for help (I spoke up). He listened up, and I lightened up by taking Ducky for a walk.

And voila … the font size is bigger.

Your ability to 3-up gives you great creative power.  It’s a pretty simple process.

• Listen up—pay attention to your inner guidance system.
• Speak up—allow contrast to lead you to stating (figuratively—you don’t actually have to SAY it) what you want
• Lighten up—get easy about it; find good thoughts and feelings, which will align you vibrationally with what you desire so the law of attraction can bring you what you want or nudge you toward inspired action that will bring you what you want.

I’m working on being more consistent about using my 3-up power.  How about you?

If you have a request for me, please speak up.

I love comments and welcome yours.  To leave a comment, click on the “comments” link (it will say “No comments or “1 comment” or more) at the end of the tags in “Posted in” at the end of this post.

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I never thought I’d say this, but … I’m grateful that I have very little money.

Okay, let me clarify that.

I’m not grateful for ALL aspects of having very little money.  However, one aspect of it is serving me quite well right now.  (And I’m all about finding the positive aspects of everything these days, so I’m quite happy to find this one.)

The positive aspect of having very little money is that I can’t possibly waste it on things I don’t need.

When you’re watching every penny with an intent to spend only on things you deem absolutely necessary, you have a different perspective on money than when you have plenty and/or you have credit cards to use.  This financial constriction may seem like a limitation (and it fact, it did to me for a very long time), but I’m discovering that it also offers a powerful form of freedom.

Four years ago, when I was trying to build an online business, I was fanatical about finding as much information on internet marketing as I could.  I scoured the web for insights into website building, sales letters, getting traffic to sites.  I joined dozens of e-mail lists.  And I bought thousands of dollars worth of training systems and e-books.

It seemed like every other week or so, I stumbled upon some marketing expert’s “bootcamp” or “exclusive membership” or “A-list training” or “must have e-book” that promised to give me that missing piece of my success puzzle.  Since I had money in the bank at the time, I bought much of what I came across.

Obviously, these great and expensive resources weren’t all that great.  I never managed to achieve the success they promised.

As I said in the I’d Rather Believe In Santa Claus post, I translated my inability to create the online empire all these books and training programs promised as a belief in my failure.  I figured if all these other people were making lots of money using this information, and I wasn’t, it meant I was doing something terribly wrong.  That’s when I walked away from the internet.

Now I’m back in it again.  I have three blogs (the other two are The Joyful Springer and Dogging the Words, if you’re interested), and I’m a couple weeks away from launching my revised e-book/audio package.

I’ve been doing a little bit of networking with other bloggers and online marketers, and I’ve begun to hear the siren call of bootcamps and training programs again.

But … I can’t afford them!  At all.  Period.  No way.

Not unless I want to stop feeding Ducky or something. For the record, she’s not in favor of that option.

A month ago, when I first started seeing expert training for bloggers and networkers, I was frustrated that I couldn’t afford it.  Then, thanks to a deliberate shift in focus onto thought that felt better, the law of attraction brought me this insight:

All Those Experts Knew As Little As I Did When They Started

The other night, I read a report by a blogger who started his blog in 2008 and now has 150,000 subscribers and makes a substantial living with his blog.  I was happy to see much of what he did is what I’ve begun to do or plan to do.  At the end of his report, he pitched his “A-list Bootcamp” for serious bloggers.  I felt that longing well up again.

But it didn’t bubble up far before my intention to find good feeling thoughts brought my aha moment.  It went like this:

“Wait a second.  He admits that when he started, he knew nothing about what he was doing.  He tried a little of this and a little of that, and he kept tweaking until it fell into place.  He started with one thing—enjoyment.  He loved blogging.  That love led him to what worked for him.  So why do I care what worked for him?  Why don’t I start with my own enjoyment (and I do very much enjoy writing this blog and The Joyful Springer especially (LOVE all things dog in case you haven’t noticed))?  Why don’t I let that enjoyment put me in alignment?  And then why don’t I let the universe orchestrate how it will unfold for me?  Why don’t I just take inspired action that makes sense to me instead of working my butt off and depleting my financial resources trying to do what worked for someone else?  Why don’t I manifest my own path instead of trying to stay on someone else’s manifested path?”

If I had enough money to spend on training programs, I’d be diving down the same rabbit holes I got stuck in four years ago.  My lack of money has kept me above ground and sane (relatively).

How cool is that?

And now that I’ve learned that powerful lesson, I’m open to having more money … that Ducky thinks I should use to buy more dog treats.

Are you giving your power away to someone who claims they know the “right” way to do something?  Are you tossing away money you could use on dog treats or something better?

Sometimes having money limits us as much as not having money does.

I love comments and welcome yours.  To leave a comment, click on the “comments” link (it will say “No comments or “1 comment” or more) at the end of the tags in “Posted in” at the end of this post.

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Today’s Abraham-Hicks quote is:

“It’s not your work to make anything happen. It’s your work to dream it and let it happen. Law of Attraction will make it happen. In your joy, you create something, and then you maintain your vibrational harmony with it, and the Universe must find a way to bring it about. That’s the promise of Law of Attraction.”

I’m attempting to find my vibrational harmony with what I want, and part of that process is being sure that I’m on “the path of least resistance.”

The path of least resistance, according to Abraham-Hicks, is the course of action that feels best.

Resistance is what keeps us from having what we want; it’s a vibration that doesn’t match with our desires. It’s those negative feelings that line up with things we don’t want.

When we’re on the path of least resistance, we’re aligned with our nonphysical self, and we’re moving toward what we want. Our vibration matches our desires so the law of attraction can bring those desires to us.

Sometimes, it’s easy to decide what we need to do. One choice feels awkward and uncomfortable, and the other choice makes our heart sing.

Most choices, though, aren’t so clear cut.

In my case, for instance, all my choices suck … or at least that’s how it feels to me.

For over 20 years, I have been focused on living a life of creative and financial freedom. I want to be an author. That’s the work I want to do. I don’t care if that work brings me money or if money comes in some other enjoyable way so I can spend my time writing, but I want to have the freedom to fill my days with writing.

And I want those days to have a leisurely flow to them.

My ideal day goes something like this: I wake up naturally between 7:30 and 8:30. I get up and take a long walk with my dog. I come home and work out. I shower. I have a little snack, and I sit down to write, sometime between 11 and 12. I write until about 6 and stop for the day. I spend my evenings drawing, singing, playing the piano, watching movies, training my dog, playing games and spending time with my husband.

Yes, I know this isn’t how society tells us we should spend our days, but there it is.

For many years, this was how I spent my days.

Then something went wrong. Though I sold three books to large publishers and made some money with my writing, it wasn’t enough to support me. My other financial resources started running out. I tried to sell more books and ended up having terribly negative experiences with agents, editors, publishers, and PR people.

Since I was getting the sense I couldn’t support myself with my writing, Tim and I turned to the internet. We spent the next two years attempting to build a profitable internet business and network marketing business.

At the time of these decisions, I’d kind of forgotten about the law of attraction (even though I did know about it) and the teachings of Abraham-Hicks. I wasn’t thinking in terms of paths of least resistance. Still, I was trying to follow my inner guidance.

Even so, we failed miserably.

I hated doing internet and network marketing. I truly despised it. I kept trying to tell myself to like it. I’d remind myself of the income potential and tell myself, “At least you’re writing” (because I was doing newsletters, articles, and e-books), but I knew I wasn’t doing what I wanted to do.

So I stopped. I took a leap of faith. Even though we were running on financial fumes, I started writing screenplays. I was so excited about the process (“in your joy, you create something”). I was sure I’d succeed. Besides, Tim had decided he was going to win a lottery. He took Abraham’s “it’s as easy to create a castle as it is a button” to heart. He knew he was a lottery winner.

But I didn’t succeed, and he didn’t win.

Then I read Twilight by Stephanie Myer. With all due respect to Myer, I know I write as well or better than she does. I knew I could write a great YA book. So I came up with what I thought was a great, unique plot line, wrote a manuscript and the synopses of all four books in the planned series.

I was sure I’d have it sold by now.

Not only hasn’t it been sold but the agent who was going to represent it decided (after getting me to rewrite it to address issues she had with it) it “wasn’t for her.”

And now we’re out of money.

So in the last couple months, I’ve been doing all this stuff to try and get money.

And I don’t like any of it.

So now, what is my path of least resistance?

We have 3 ½ months of money and no income at the moment.

Do I trust that money will come from someplace and just keep submitting my manuscript and doing things I love and not worry about generating an income in any logical way?

That was my plan at the beginning of this year. I was going to find ways to feel good and trust that the money would come.

Then friends started suggesting ways to bring in money: do editing for pay, look for freelance writing work, go out and get a job at McDonald’s.

I decided that made sense (it didn’t feel good, but it made logical sense). So for 6 weeks, I’ve been trying to get a freelance gig that pays something other than pennies per hour. I’ve submitted many proposals and haven’t landed a gig.

So I dropped my coaching rates really low and sent a promotion to people on my writing tips mailing list. Seven people decided to take me up on it. It helped me get some money, which is great.

But here’s the problem.

I really don’t enjoy writing coaching.

I have a couple clients I enjoy (one of you knows who you are ), but most of the coaching work I do is very tough work and I have to make myself do it.

Then there are the other avenues Tim and I are exploring. I don’t like them either.

We are submitting my manuscript, but so far, we’re just getting rejections. The submission process is slow (see how I’m aligning with what I don’t want??)

I find myself facing many paths of resistance:

1. Don’t do anything to create an income; trust that I will sell a book in time (the odds of that are something akin to winning a lottery).

2. Don’t do anything to create an income; trust that Tim will win the lottery as he vehemently claims he will.

3. Pursue one of 3 paths I’ve thought of so far to bring in money, none of which make me feel good at all.

None of these paths feel good. The first two sound good, but I have too much fear that what I want won’t happen in time, and so I know that’s not a place of alignment.

The last path has the potential for income, but at what price? Me spending my days doing things I don’t want to do?

As Abraham says, you can’t put a smiley face on top of an empty gas gauge and expect to be okay. Pretending doesn’t work. I can’t make myself feel happy about doing things I truly don’t want to do.

Anyone have any words of wisdom to share? Any experience with taking the non-action path and lining up with what you want so the universe brings it to you? Any experience with finding a way to feel good about something you currently feel lousy about?

I’d like to attract some ideas that can help me find a path of least resistance. I just can’t seem to get myself to skip gaily down any of the paths that lay before me now.

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The lecture was supposed to be about beachcombing, which is one of my passions.

Tim and I joined our friends, Kathy and Lyn, for a talk given by Alan, a man who knows all about the critters and flotsam and jetsam that land on our beaches. I settled in, all ready to hear about glass floats and shells.

Alan starts talking about a novel, The Highest Tide, by Jim Lynch. One of the characters in the book, he said, was based on him. He went on to say that the book, Lynch’s first novel, sold over a million copies and is now being turned into a movie.

I started feeling very, very pissy.

I’m pretty attuned to my emotional guidance system.

(The emotional guidance system, if you don’t know the term, is what Abraham-Hicks calls your emotions. Your emotions are the way you know whether you are in alignment with your nonphysical self, your inner self, or what some call your higher self.  When you feel good, you’re aligned. When you don’t, you aren’t.)

I know when I’m feeling good, and I’m immediately aware of when I start feeling bad. I’m also getting very good at finding the thought that made me feel bad.

So when I started feeling pissy at the lecture, I immediately knew what I was thinking: Why haven’t I had success like that with my books? I am so ANGRY that that kind of success is possible and it hasn’t found me yet. I don’t even have an agent anymore. My first book should have done better. Etc, etc.

What I was feeling was the relative position of where I was compared with where my nonphysical self is.

My nonphysical self is aligned with me being a hugely successful author. My nonphysical self has become the vibrational equivalent of a bestselling author with a million sales.

I was feeling pissy because my thoughts were light years (in terms of vibration) from what my nonphysical self knew to be true and had become.

When I feel pissy about my writing, it feels really, really, really, really (are you getting this?) BAD.

Why?

Because I really, really, really, really want to be a bestselling author with over a million books sold. I’ve wanted it for a very long time.

This means that my energy has been flowing in that direction for a long time. That flow is powerful and fast.

When I have thoughts that are contrary to what I want, the contrast between what I want and what I think I can have is what makes me feel so miserable.

It helps me to be aware of this.

I didn’t clean up my thoughts last night (I was having too much fun feeling pissy—at least it wasn’t frustration and despair—it was anger, which is higher on the emotional scale).

But I cleaned them up today. Tim helped me with that.

A couple days ago, I got my weekly update on YA placements to editors. It included the announcement of a $1,000,000 deal for a debut YA series. When I saw that, I got really, really pissy.

Do you see a pattern here?

Today, Tim pointed out that hearing about great success for debut books twice in a few days could be an indicator that my own coming success as a debut YA author (I’ve had an adult novel published but not YA).

I tried out that thought.

Yeah, that felt really good.

It is odd to hear about that kind of success (it’s rare) twice in a few days. Maybe this is the universe telling me I’m heading toward it.

Of course, I can head toward it if I think more thoughts that feel good.

So I’m moving from pissy to hopeful.

Hopeful isn’t the exuberant expectation I need to fully line up with the success I want. But it’s an improvement.

And I’m going to keep looking for better feeling thoughts about this.

What about you? Are you listening to your emotional guidance system?

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The following is a story about Melanie Greer Deason’s beloved cat.  It’s such a wonderful story of the power of Spirit within us that I asked Melanie if I could share it with you.  She agreed:

“In August, my oldest cat Angel went over Rainbow’s Bridge, but we managed to be together those last days.  I awoke one morning, and Spirit said, “Take Angel to Roswell!”  I laid in bed arguing with the thought, “But it’s a four hour ride, and she hates the cat carrier, and it’s too hot without air conditioning, and. . .”  But that voice wouldn’t quit:  “Take Angel to Roswell!”  So, I waited until the afternoon, when there was cloud cover, and put Angel in the cat carrier – long enough to get her out to the VW.  I got in with her, started the engine, and opened the cat carrier door.  She immediately went over to my lap, curled up and purred.  Off we went, cruising down the old highways, using the manual crank window for air.  Half-way there, I propped her up on a pillow – high on my boxes of tools and such in the back seat, so she could be cooler and see out, while cars whizzed by us and her long grey hair tossed in the breeze.  We must have been a sight.

“In Roswell, Angel adapted to the house and continued sleeping on my bed, and was good about using her litter box.  At night, she was by my side or on my pillow.  As always, she’d reach out to kneed at my face, so I’d put her front paws in the palm of my hand and close my four fingers over hers – and together we’d fall asleep.  One night I felt her ribs and wondered, “How long can she last – she’s so thin?  Maybe I should talk to a vet about helping her over . . . when we get home.”  Two nights later I brought dinner to her and found she’d crossed over.  Just hours earlier, I’d checked in, kissed her head, and went back to working on the house. Since the violet crepe magnolia in my front yard was in full bloom, I put some flower cuttings into a vase to mark Angel’s resting place. She’s now planted in a corner of the back yard – with a young tree growing nearby.

“I listened to Spirit that hot summer day, as I did years eighteen years prior:  I was driving in town when a voice inside said, “Turn in – NOW!”  I did; it was the local animal shelter. I came home with a four-week-old motherless kitten, and named her Angel.  Even though I had no intention of adopting a cat that day, Spirit knew different.

“I’m on this mid-life adventure and expanding my creative abilities. The message for this past year is simple:

Be grateful for the gifts life presents and be equally creative in re-shaping for positive outcomes.  Possibility requires a willingness to think and act outside the box – along with faith, listening to Spirit, and trusting the path is always safe and secure.”

If this story doesn’t inspire you to heed your inner wisdom, I don’t know what will.

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