Characters Come As Is
Two days ago, Tim’s boss for his new U.S. Census bureau job, quit. The boss’s boss chose Tim to take over the position. And just like that, instead of being the enumerator Tim thought he’d be when he took his new job, Tim’s now an administrator supervising 18 people.
He’s perfectly happy with the change in situation. It has several benefits: a $2 an hour raise, almost guaranteed time and a half overtime every week, and more work that he can do at home instead of having to drive all over creation. It also has some new challenges, not the least of which are 18 strong, unique personalities.
Of the 18 people Tim now supervises, only a couple of them are the type of person Tim would choose to have working for him if he got to choose. But he didn’t get to choose. He has to take these people as they are. With only slight adjustments of alignment occasionally needed, Tim’s going with the flow of his “interesting” people.
This is something most of us don’t do all that well.
As a fiction writer, I have often wished I could whip out my laptop and type up a new character description for many people I know. Some people with whom I must have regular contact would fit into my story a lot more smoothly if I could give them a personality adjustment.
As Abraham-Hicks reminds us, though, attempting to control the world around us and the people around us is a profound waste of time. We can’t create someone else’s reality. We can only create our own.
Why give all that power away to other people?
I know this, of course; but my fingers still itch to tap out new character descriptions of people I know. Even my even-keeled Tim sometimes wants to “shake some people by the shoulders until a real personality falls into place.”
Leave it to Ducky to give us both lessons in accepting people as they are.
Ducky showed a surprising ability to adjust to others when she was just 12 weeks old. Usually a barely contained explosion of wild energy, when Ducky met my elderly parents, she dialed it down several notches. With only one admonition from me, she learned quickly not to even think about jumping on them, and she knows to quietly lay near them when they’re in our home.
You can tell when you watch her doing this that she doesn’t resent it or having any other negative feelings about it. It just is what it is. With “grandma and grandpa,” you have to be calm. And in exchange, you get a lot of rubs.
Another person Ducky met, Neil, isn’t a dog person. He has no patience for dog antics at all. She learned quickly to be on her best behavior around him too. And she gets no rubs as a reward from him. No matter. She just gives him a wide berth, wags her tail at him once and puts her attention on her rawhide.
Ducky has the same self-malleability with other dogs.
Ducky LOVES to play with dogs. Her version of play is running in crazed circles and springing three feet into the air (hence the name, Springer spaniel).
Not every dog she meets wants to play this way, though. No problem.
If dogs want to wrestle, she’ll wrestle. If they want to bounce, she’ll bounce. If they want to dig holes, she’ll dig holes.
Ducky can play with a 5 pound dog or a 120 pound dog. She works with whoever she has in front of her. And she accepts them, one and all.
If you pay attention to your attention—noting what you are talking about and thinking about, you’ll probably find that you spend a lot of energy thinking about what other people are doing or have done. I’ve found that most of my complaints have to do with what someone else has done or failed to do.
Just think how much more often we’d be in the vortex if we could learn to let all the other “dogs” play the way they want to play. If we could take people as they are, no matter how much that may not fit our specifications, we’d free up so much energy for happier thoughts.
You and I have great power, but if we try to use it to control what people around us are doing, we’re wasting it. Focus your power where it counts—on your thoughts.
Tags: Abraham, Abraham-Hicks, Acceptance, Create your reality, Law of Attraction, Relationships
May 8th, 2010 at 8:33 pm
I aspire to be like Ducky in so many ways. She truly is a wondrous teacher of going with the flow and being fine with what-is and also of feeling and expressing exuberance at the drop of a hat.
Karen´s last blog ..Free Money
May 9th, 2010 at 9:49 am
Me too, Karen. Ducky epitomizes the essence of canine wisdom and why I so love dogs. She is my most consistent, fun teacher of how to live joyfully in the world.