Moving On Up
Yesterday, Greg, made some great comments about fear on the post, Still Complaint Free (Mostly). He quoted author, Guy Finley’s discussion of the way we embrace fear and make it our friend, thus allowing its power to unplug us from the divine energy that is meant to flow through us.
I had a realization when I read Greg’s comment. I discovered that I am no longer fearful.
When I started this blog at the beginning of the year, I was terrified. I truly thought I was on the verge of losing my house and my way of life. I had no idea how I’d get the money I needed to keep us going after the first of March.
I started this blog as a way to process my intention to find alignment with my nonphysical self, the part of me who knows everything is just fine and in fact has everything and is living everything, on a vibrational level, that I desire.
In the past few weeks, I have experienced huge shifts in the way I feel, and more positive experiences are flowing my way as a result.
We’ve received enough money, from writing coaching fees, a loan from my parents, and some blog donations, to keep us afloat into June. And am I afraid of what will happen after that? Amazingly, no. I know something will fall into place. I don’t know what that something will be, but I know we’ll be okay.
So this is good. I’m no longer fearful.
But …..
Yesterday evening, I was rushing to finish up some work so I could join Tim in the kitchen to fix our dinner, and I noticed I was tense. When I got to the kitchen (it was about 7:30), I said to Tim (in keeping with our no complain rule, I was careful with how I chose my words), “I want to have a lifestyle where I can work at a comfortable pace and stop for the day before 6 p.m. I want to work on my books, and I want to draw. I have no interest in being a ghostwriter or marketer or writing coach.”
I really did try to keep my tone light, but my eyes filled with tears. Why was I crying?
What was I feeling?
I stopped and checked in and discovered I was angry. Very, very angry.
I am no longer fearful, but I’m angry about having to do the work I’m doing. I am back in the internet marketing world, a world I deliberately walked away from at the end of 2007. I am revamping websites, trying to drive traffic to a site, redoing sales pages, creating sales videos … all the things I consciously left behind because I didn’t enjoy them.
And now I’m pissed. Really pissed.
How did I get back here? Why didn’t our plans work out?
Okay, this doesn’t sound good, does it? Doesn’t sound like vibrational alignment.
And it isn’t. But it’s an improvement.
I’ve gone from fear to anger. I’ve moved up some on the emotional scale.
The Emotional Scale
Abraham-Hicks’ emotional guidance scale, from the book Ask and It is Given, looks like this:
- Joy/Appreciation/Empowered/Freedom/Love
- Passion
- Enthusiasm/Eagerness/Happiness
- Positive Expectation/Belief
- Optimism
- Hopefulness
- Contentment
- Boredom
- Pessimism
- Frustration/Irritation/Impatience
- Overwhelment
- Disappointment
- Doubt
- Worry
- Blame
- Discouragement
- Anger
- Revenge
- Hatred/Rage
- Jealousy
- Insecurity/Guilt/Unworthiness
- Fear/Grief/Depression/Despair/Powerlessness
As you can see, anger is five rungs above fear, so I’m moving up.
Abraham talks often about finding relief a little bit at a time. It’s inadvisable, they say, to try to vault from fear to joy. Any time you can improve your emotions just a little, you’re moving into alignment.
I have spent a lot of time at the top of the scale lately. I get these peeks at appreciation and love and joy more and more throughout my days. But sometimes, when I look too much at what is, I slip down again.
I’m not slipping all the way to fear, though, and I call that a victory, especially given the precarious “facts” of our situation.
Those facts don’t concern me anymore.
Choosing Better Feeling Thoughts
I’m creating a new story, and my anger has shown me I’m experiencing contrast that is spurring me to be even more specific in my story.
So since I won’t complain (whining about the work I’m doing would be my old pattern, but whining is just squeaky complaining, so I can’t do that), I need to choose new thoughts. Here I go:
Although the work I’m doing right now isn’t my first choice, I’m grateful for the contrast it’s providing, contrast that’s showing me what I really want to do. I know I hated this type of work in the past, but I could choose to find something good about it now. I could clean up my vibration about internet marketing and find the fun in it. I am enjoying the networking I’ve been doing on Facebook and Twitter. I hadn’t expected that to be fun and yet it is, so maybe internet marketing can be fun too.
Going back through my e-book has given me a sense of accomplishment because I’m remembering just how much good information is in the book, and that is giving me more confidence to sell it.
The better I feel about the work I’m doing, the faster I’ll get to the work I really want to do. So I’m going to find the positive aspects of this work.
One of the best positive aspects is that Ducky gets to hang out with me while I work and I can pet her as much as I want. That feels really good. I think I’ll just focus on that for awhile. I can’t feel anger and focus on Ducky at the same time (except when she steals food off the counter; but that’s another story).
And just like that, I’m all the way up to contentment.
And moving on up ….
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Tags: Abraham, Abraham-Hicks, abraham-hicks emotional scale, Alignment, anger, emotions, Fear, Feeling good, guy finley, Vibration
March 25th, 2010 at 1:23 pm
I love the new story that you’ve shared here, Ande. It’s so important to make peace with where we are, ironically, in order to move to where we want to be. In the past, we’ve thought that we could motivate/propel ourselves to something better through dislike of where we are, but in the long run, that only brings us new things to dislike. Different faces, different places, perhaps — but basically the same until we clean up our vibration.
And it’s a wonderful reminder about anger being several all-important notches of the emotional scale from fear. It’s still negative emotion, but it’s so much more empowering than fear and thus a very big step in the right direction.
I enjoyed the example that Abraham once shared about Esther, when she said something seemingly negative and Jerry commented, “That sounds like you’re going upstream” [in a direction she didn't want to go]. She replied that it was actually “downstream” [in a good direction] for her, compared to where her thoughts had been on the subject previously. Ha. It’s about the direction we’re headed in more than it’s about where we are at that particular time.
I also like how Abraham tells us that we won’t be in the vortex [feeling emotionally good] all the time, but the main thing is to keep LEANING in that direction [finding better-feeling thoughts and feeling just a little better]. Now THAT seems do-able.
March 25th, 2010 at 2:36 pm
Exactly! When I found out that I don’t have to be Pollyanna ALL the time but just turn and go downstream from where I am, it got much more do-able. I often say to myself, “just a little better,” to remind myself to find a thought that feels just a little better.