My Picture, My Paints, My Choice
After I posted, How I Spell Relief, I received a message from a new writer friend. I’ve only corresponded with Gina for a couple weeks, but positive energy and enthusiasm radiate from her. Her attitude about life can be summed up in the title of a Facebook group she created, HELL Yes, Pigs Fly (the group is closed right now because she’s working on it, but it will be open again soon).
Regarding how to find a feeling good place when your work or efforts are being rejected, Gina wrote:
“What has helped me so much is to take complete responsibility for myself, to understand in an emotional way that I don’t HAVE to prove myself to anyone, to BE myself fully.
”Those rejection letters or any comments that sting are whatever YOU NEED them to be to validate whatever YOU NEED to feel or whatever feels comfortable to feel. There are all kinds of ways to validate fear that we all have, all kinds of ways to see failure if failure feels easier emotionally than success does. It’s about making a decision to change what feels comfortable if it’s something we’re ready to move away from.
“We repeat what we know. I had emotional abuse plugged into my love receptacle when I was a child. THAT was love for me. So, while I was anxious and determined to get away from that kind of love, I also struggled in a horrific way because THAT was my picture.
“Sometimes the hardest thing to do is to break free from an old picture and to paint a new one.
“Writing is such a personal expression. Sharing it is intensely personal. It’s hard to NOT feel it personally when someone doesn’t love what you’ve created.
“Take what feels constructive and helpful …. Leave the rest behind. You don’t NEED anything that doesn’t feel constructive and helpful. That’s just trash.
“Your journey is what matters most of all. A turn left instead of right changes your whole world sometimes. LIFE is full of wonder.”
And so it is, Gina.
Gina’s words prompted me to take a look at the picture I’ve been painting the last few years. When I looked, I wasn’t happy with what I saw. The picture was disjointed and dark, full of images that had nothing to do with the life I want to live and everything to do with my fears, resentments, and disappointments.
Tim, Ducky, and I spent yesterday evening with our good friends, Lyn and Kathy and their dog, Jake, on the beach by a fire, under a sky full of “God’s little lanterns.” While the dogs played, we humans sat by the fire and listened to the surf provide percussion for a chorus of frogs singing Spring harmony from east of the dunes. The dogs ran and barked and wagged, and we humans talked and laughed.
For over four hours, life was pure and simply perfect. Everything was right. I felt peaceful and secure and loved. I hope my friends and my husband felt the same. (I know the dogs did—they always feel that way.)
I’ve been flailing about for years trying to do things that would bring me the feelings I experienced last night. In the flailing, I’ve painted a mess.
I’m ready to paint a new picture, one that looks like yesterday evening. And what thrills me is that I don’t have to go back and redo the picture I’ve created over the last few years. I can just turn away from it and put my attention on my new canvas.
Abraham-Hicks says, “There is nothing for you to go back and live over, or fix, or feel regret about now. Every part of your life has unfolded just right. And so –now– knowing all that you know from where you now stand, now what do you want? The answers are now coming forth to you. Go forth in joy, and get on with it.”
And that is what I’m going to do.
You create your reality. What picture are you painting?
To leave a comment, click on the “comments” link (it will say “No comments or “1 comment” or more) at the end of the tags in “Posted in” at the end of this post.
Tags: Abraham, Abraham-Hicks, Create your reality, Feeling good, Joy
March 20th, 2010 at 12:31 pm
Thanks for the instructions on how to leave a comment. I was trying to do that the other day & couldn’t work it out. Obviously I’m not as IT savvy as I think. I wanted to leave a comment congratulating you on your success w/the debt reduction. I know that has got to be a big relief. I’m also very interested in reading how all the little things keep coming your way – that positive attraction thing. That is so cool. It gives me hope & inspiration for my own situation. As I said before, you’re my inspiration. Keep up the good work.
As far as those rejection letters go, well bugger them. Their loss. You are a great writer & have lots of great stuff to say. You just need to find the right agent to connect with & then the sky’s the limit. I know that agent is out there just waiting to find you. Hang in there, it will happen.
March 20th, 2010 at 4:19 pm
Wow Ande, that description of sitting around the fire with your friends and hearing the waves and seeing the stars and the dogs playing. They way you wrote it, that was great, felt like I was there with a glass of 02 Caymus in my hand.
What an uplifting post. You always talk about the things that seem to be most important to me and exactly what I am facing at the moment. Uncanny how that is.
Responsibility for yourself seems to be the key. Responsibility with Self love. Gotta love all the parts of yourself even the ones that you dont like. Gotta love everything that you dont like and fear for that matter. Someone once told me, “Love everything that you fear and it will dissapate” I think that was Gay Hendricks.
The older I get, 47, the more it comes down to what my mom told me as a child growing up.
“Gregory, Count your blessings everyday”. “Gregory, if you dont have something good to say about someone, dont say anything at all”. Life is what you make it… Look on the Bright side. Breathe….
I never really paid any attention but they are everything that we all write about and read about and blog about. The only thing is the daily application. Those people from the Depression days were scappy and they learned these things first hand in the times they went through. Maybe we are in an extreme LOA school where you have to really learn everything in a hands on way. Kinda like Hogwarts, you just dont read about it but you get an upfront real life situation in every class. I am going to check out Brigadoon. You have talked about it and it must be good. I looked it up on google and there was a quote in there that stood out for me that is probably one of the many reasons why you like it so much and that it, “why do people have to lose things to find out what they really mean? ….. Take care Ande, you are an incredible blessing!
March 20th, 2010 at 4:32 pm
Thank you, Greg. You had a great mom! Yes, I think we are in an extreme LOA school. I think that it’s easy to meander through life not learning a new way of being when things are going okay (the operative word being, OKAY). But when things get nasty, we get uncomfortable enough to say, hey, I want to do this differently, and we’re motivated to learn a new way of doing things. So here we are learning.
March 20th, 2010 at 4:36 pm
Oh, and one more thing. Brigadoon was made in the 1950′s, so you have to go with the old scene back-drops and corny overdone musical numbers. But the story is worth it and the dancing is fun.
March 20th, 2010 at 4:37 pm
Hi Ande,
One of my favorite music CDs is from the movie “Curious George”. The whole thing is Jack Johnson. The lyrics are so inspiring for me. One of the songs begins, “I want to go where the talk of the town, is about last night when the sun went down.” The first time I heard those words, I thought to myself…..THAT IS IT. THAT is where I WANT to be. A simple, peaceful place with people who care more about the beauty in our world than thay do about manicured toes or fingers….Where IS THAT place?????
A few years later I understand that I can’t find that place until I am simplified and peaceful. So, I begin there…wanting to draw on the sidewalks with my children with chalk, to run in a sprinkler on a warm day, to fill balloons with water and play hide and seek…to live that simple life.
What you had with your friends and your enjoyment of that, tells me that we’d be great neighbors, and that MY place and YOUR place are filled with joy and peace and love, just like we are.
Your canvas is there and waiting for your special touch. Don’t be afraid to be yourself fully. There are NO mistakes. It’s all perfectly YOU.
Get that cd if you don’t have it….trust me on this one! lol
March 20th, 2010 at 4:38 pm
Someone pointed out to me that the way to comment is not real obvious. If I had the technical know-how, I’d update the theme somehow to fix that, but I don’t (maybe I’ll attract someone…
). So I decided to make it easy for people by explaining it. Life is supposed to be easy and fun, right? 
Good idea on the rejection letters! I’ll do that. And I’m really glad my process is inspiring you. I expect to hear about you landing your dream job very soon!
March 20th, 2010 at 4:43 pm
We WOULD make great neighbors. Drawing on the sidewalk sounds great! Can we blow bubbles, too?
I’ll look for the CD–thanks for telling me about it.
March 21st, 2010 at 6:50 pm
That’s a beautiful scenario — you folks and the dogs on the beach at night. Ahhhh.